I can still feel the scars on my chest
from when you hung your body around my neck
your noose too polished,
too clean to be messy.
I’ve begun a dialogue with thoughts and feelings that both tickle
Your scars will not define me.
the sequence was not intentional
i see the pattern
there’s a lightness in all of us. mine happens to be aimless hopes and, national dismemberment of the self.
you like stripping down people don’t you? peeling back the layers, pixeling the puzzle, alphabetizing strengths and weakness by convenience
so you can sit back and
if you know it, you understand it
understand it and you rationalize it
rationalize it and it can’t touch you feel it creeping getawaytooclose
maybe i’m bitter lava and tidy playlists
maybe i’m just a good mirror for you.
On the spirit of lash-out
how dare you.
split my remained in two
wake the wildness within my bones and leave the beast
to fend for itself
eat or be eaten by your own pulse.
rattle me enough to shake my foundation, just enough to make me question, just enough to make me want
more, more, more
of your skin across my skin, of your smallest kindness, your touch of humanity, your desire and detachment of all things real – how dare you mold me
soiled your hands of disregard, solid apathy for me to wrap around you
finger pointer, you grave digger, you beast maker, you dreamweaver
i pray to one day mussel your bright, tame your wild, infuriate your calm
or at the very best
forgive my beast
and walk away.
stay the fuck away from my dreams
the kind that takes you up and lets your down
rough and slow
rope burn between your fingers
remember that next time you point a finger
its no use emptying your pockets
if your clinging to the knife in your hand
her cancer spread to my heart
there was nothing in her bones less brittle
than our stability.
we clawed our way through honeymoon bee stings
ate crow for breakfast and
took palms to our fists at night
do you recognize fear?
when the beast becomes the fawn
we’re bloodied in our own guilt
there’s no washing this off.
our desires disease compassion
my knees are tired of bending.
this is the birth of snake skin
something tells me I’ve re-winded
given extra fingers
a mirror to my nervous system
someone plucked you from a memory
and re-shaped for my pleasure
i’ve never been very competitive
as long as i get what i want
move you queen
closer to my king
a barricade of not so strong walls
your hand closer to me
your breath smelling
morning afters are blissful
disappointment is not destruction of false expectations
disappointment is something you choke on after a shot of tequila
cash only hun
your bluff has been called
she wrecked me
ruffled curls mopping my untidiness
with some odd combination of sprung rigidity
there’s nothing wrong with a little deviancy
specially not when they’re as uniform and
as your routines
lets play house and watch it all burn burn burn
i met you and i learned to howl
to pick pockets
to be carried in their waist, fed bred crumbs, fun-
size-up the opportunity and take a chance on the next hitch
i learned how to empty my life and fill it with alive
how to brunt the heat and face the cold
how to un-hunt
how to relish
how to rue pride rock
from the bottom of the food chain
if i could take it back
i would give anything
to try try try
and cut my fingers
there are craters in you
if you call
i will fill every inch of your moon.