i want an instance of
knock the air from my lungs
a bully too normality too long.
chancing this as a symptom of discipline
who determines that anyway?
when has popular opinion ever give me a choice
to decide normality.
i was handed a stack of dead wood to build a house
and told to look at nature.


have you ever tasted discipline?
sweeter than honey
lighter than air
suddenly you can ride Pegasus into Vesuvius
and come back ash and dust
but triumphant.

i’m thirsty
tide pulled by an ocean
im calling home sirens
who can drown the fish then?
it all ends in the same place
treading water until further notice
i’m sharing my bed with Fortune
i’m sharing my porch with a wasp
one scares me more that the other
there are dreams i wish i could look back on
freedom i hope to take back or define
its stuck
can’t tell if behind or in front
i hear shadows cracking their joints at me
like they too are getting old
calling my bluff
even if i know my weekly routes
i still can’t tell left from right.

hollow victories and re
opened wounds
the need to polish trophies just to
rub the rag’s face in.
where has temperance gone?
eating creel and lackluster for shine’s sake.
allowing time to disregard how my wrist
moves in tandem with greed.
do you tell the world, or eat your shame?
this bone i chew still kicks at my teeth
forgetting the my arms that hold you
have taken men and women on their bellies
walking away with more than blood
on my hands
tied to these trophies they sound
petty with my name stamped on their cover
think of that next time you try to rope me in.

im counting on the ability to know
more than you do
somehow always.

when i asked my mother why kids were sniffing glue
she said
it helped curve hunger.

i was seven at the time
and can understand why any mother would leave out
that sniffing super glue
can get you high

because hunger is a decease of society
of all of us
none of us feel the guilt

a junkie has all the pity and repulsion they deserve.