compassion’s pulled the rug from under me
waterworks and alligators slowly loosing their armor
ive been mending the wound
with bitterness and claims to futility
im too fool-ish to remain prideful
so i claim my wound
and dress it with tenderness.
this is what it looks like
when the person who kicked, who picked, and lives, is attached to your nose.
a huge hug, and one round of applause
you’ve made history.
i have a soft spot for beings who do not know their own worth.
come on in.
your reckless loud
put it back where it came from.
when your truly split in two
when the beast is within
growling, snarling, howling, showing teeth
two sides two the coin
mirror, i heard you the first time
shattering on my couch
i held your shards together
truth bleeding onto white ankle socks
hoping no to bruise you
hoping our carbon atoms wouldn’t
grieve us too early.
They were once part of something bigger you see,
but your brain is a tyrant
enslaving your stomach your mouth.
i don’t want to love you
i’ve seen what goodbyes can do to our hands.
i felt windshield and lethargy
three pecks and no perks for this wallflower
there’s a boom box booming from the wall
chopping grandmothers into
tofu and curry.
“you’re not vegan.”
you’re right. i’m not also
keen on staying in one place
working 9-5, cubicle cell, phone bull
my feet itch
your box gives me a history review
when i want to stitch
wrinkles in time
i have sold my soul
SugarDaddy gives me candy
and ive seen too much of taffy
to never forget the taste of
i know incarnations of you
the types that covet sovereignty
but youre an earthquake
whirlwind of raw
never apologize for
i’ve payed a harsh price
to not be called naive
pulled my eyelids back and lost a socket
channeling magic learning to fly
i carry Icarus on my back
or the curse of Achilles
or maybe i’m Nessy
messy in my undoings – letting shadows make monsters out of my heartbeats.
im am witness to my own destruction
watch me transform.
I keep trying to remind my dog that, unlike her, my skin is not thickly fur-coated and cold does in fact sting. She doesn’t seem to understand and frankly, I wouldn’t either what with my constant “anti-shaving” propaganda you’d think I grow alpacas in my pits.
bitters and cold tea
you’ve gotten under my skin
and flay my raw.
no white flags today
we lay down the law
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
1. blood moons are hermit magic.
2. three moon cycle of jubilation
3. rotation is noted
4. as a punishment for your actions. you will know no comfort. if you sleep you eat.
a thump thump in the back of my skull
stiff neck, aching muscles and
two lovers – four beds
you’d think it was a full moon.
there’s no teeth here
no hackles raised.
i don’t want to know you,
feel your bed mold around my body like safe keep
your lips tracing fingers of perhaps in my nightstand.
humming a purr from my chest
how can satisfaction leave you so parched?
“to be idolized or recognized?”
the sequence was not intentional
i see the pattern
there’s a lightness in all of us. mine happens to be aimless hopes and, national dismemberment of the self.
you like stripping down people don’t you? peeling back the layers, pixeling the puzzle, alphabetizing strengths and weakness by convenience
so you can sit back and
if you know it, you understand it
understand it and you rationalize it
rationalize it and it can’t touch you feel it creeping getawaytooclose
maybe i’m bitter lava and tidy playlists
maybe i’m just a good mirror for you.
On the spirit of lash-out
how dare you.
split my remained in two
wake the wildness within my bones and leave the beast
to fend for itself
eat or be eaten by your own pulse.
rattle me enough to shake my foundation, just enough to make me question, just enough to make me want
more, more, more
of your skin across my skin, of your smallest kindness, your touch of humanity, your desire and detachment of all things real – how dare you mold me
soiled your hands of disregard, solid apathy for me to wrap around you
finger pointer, you grave digger, you beast maker, you dreamweaver
i pray to one day mussel your bright, tame your wild, infuriate your calm
or at the very best
forgive my beast
and walk away.